Dear Edgar,
So, you guys have come up with the idea of charging any Internet consumer a $5 a month tax as a way of paying for all those inflated damages you claim the music industry suffers because of piracy. You've realized that you can't stop the damage and you don't want to surrender, you've got to fight. I don't doubt that you do suffer some losses, but we all know rhetoric when we see it, but that's another topic for another day.
Lots of folks are screaming that this is extortion, racketeering, unabashed greed, or desperation. And of course there are those who look at what you are proposing as labeling everyone as guilty and to hell with the innocent. But maybe we need to look at this a different way.
The way I see it Edgar is this. My contribution of $5 a month (or $60 a year) sort of makes me (and everyone else) like a shareholder in your business. By buying into your racket I'm saying I believe in you. You're not only going to protect the world from music piracy, you're going to rejuvenate the business. I am going to reap the benefits of my little monthly investment in your business.
You will make good and damn sure that we actually have some folks making some real music worth my while out there. I'll gladly continue to pay for it, (I always do) if it is good stuff. But lately, you've seen a steep decline in revenue from me in the past, because your industry kinda thought it was about something other than music and lost its way. Let's be honest, with few exceptions, nothing that is being released these days is really that good or worth the price of admission. So, you're going to fix that, right?
Oh, and the majority of that $5 a month is going to go the artists, right? I doubt very seriously you're even remotely thinking of spending that $20 billion a year windfall on anything other than giving it to the artists. That's true, right?
And speaking of the artists, I see this as a real boon to them, assuming you do the right thing. Think of the savings you guys can reap by using this windfall to get rid of all those lawyers. That's even more money back to the artists, right?
And it doesn't stop there. Imagine all the bribes, er... excuse me, lobbying fees you'll save. You won't have to keep paying for the help of guys like this in government anymore, right?
But, you know Edgar, you shouldn't stop there. Let's do as the Canadians want to do and add a tax on devices as well. And, you know, let's add a tax on every guitar, piano, clarinet, tuba, pair of castanets, and spoon that is sold. I mean somewhere, somebody is going to pick up a pair of spoons at a family gathering and play some tune for those assembled. You might has well get the money up front on that one, too, don't cha think?
Oh, and by the way. I'm guessing that the prices of music will also drop, since you already add some to the bottom line to help protect against piracy. Another good call, right?
And I'm sure the computer manufacturers and software houses will be happy when you get rid of all that silly DRM nonsense that is forcing them to implement software that gums up every machine. I'm right on that one too, yes?
I can see this really taking off in a big way. I mean you could even go so far as demanding that hospitals charge parents when every new child is born, because you know that some parent somewhere is going to sing some song to their new infant that should be paid for. Let's charge them all and that way you've got your bases covered. And besides the way the Insurance industry works, no one will ever know the difference.How's that for an idea?
And don't forget the back end. Funeral homes. Yes. There is another good idea. We all know that once you get this going, somebody is going to get away with not paying you at some point in his/her life. So, let's tack a little onto the cost of each funeral or cremation, so we an catch them on the way out the door. Smart thinking?
It just goes on and on and on. I mean the way I look at it, my little $5 a month investment in your business and my reputation as a thief, (forget that innocent until proven guilty thing) should really help out and not just with your bottom line, but with life in general.
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