The Fourth Annual Life on the Wicked Stage Ink Blot Awards

Try as I might, I still cannot come up with a better description of why I started the Life on the Wicked Stage Ink Blot Awards other than what I wrote the first time I unleashed them on an unsuspecting public, so I’ll once again repeat and then extend those remarks:

I created The Life On The Wicked Stage Ink Blot Awards as a celebration. Yes, it's a celebration of the 1 year anniversary of this blog. But it is more than that. It is a celebration of a community that I have come to know and admire. The Tableteers that make up the Tablet PC Community are an amazing collection of individuals who know and work with the Tablet PC platform. They are fiercely protective of it, insatiably curious about advancing it, very intelligent, often wickedly funny, at one time very forgiving and patient, and in the same breath, scathingly critical when the need arises. They are also exceedingly willing to evangelize the platform to anyone who will listen, and in my humble opinion, have helped keep the spotlight on The Tablet PC in ways that may, in the long run, prove to be responsible for keeping the platform thriving.

Just like the technology that spawned the community that led to the impulse for these awards, that community is morphing as well. More and more the Tabletscape (and those who make Tablet PCs) seem to be acknowledge the reality that Tablet PCs will unfortunately remain a niche; or are just completely uncertain of how to do anything different to change that fact. But that community is broadening more and more to cover mobile technology in general and its members bring their passion to the coverage of topics far beyond Tablet PCs these days.

Last year, we all thought 2008 would be the year of the MID. It was if you count the iPhone. But beyond that, Mobile Internet Devices almost qualify as vaporware. Almost. Touch was the other big thing on the horizon, and yep, touch is becoming a bigger deal. But beyond navigation and some iPhone apps and games, it is still a technology begging for a usage scenario. Don’t get me wrong Touch on the iPhone is a great experience, but then that platform has other issues as well. Netbooks were the story of the year without question, and continue to be so. Microsoft continues to wane, Apple continues to excite, and as I write this Nokia is about to unleash something they say will be a game changer. Who knows what next year will bring. (Update: The unveiled what they call ‘the world’s most advanced computer’, the N97.)

This year was also an election year, and life here on the Wicked Stage got decidedly political, much to the delight of some, and the disgust of others. No apologies for that, but it always concerns me that some folks don’t see how one aspect of our lives ties directly into another. Heads in the sand only clog up the breathing. But I guess that is better than a head up your butt. Anyway, you’ll see that so much intersects by how many of the awards bestowed in one category below could be in another. At least that’s true in the Little Theatre in My Mind. So this year, there will be some Ink Blots that deal with some political topics. I’m also adding a few other categories as well. As always, the rules for nomination and inclusion (some dubious, some for actual best in class) are my own and completely subject to my own whims and fancies. Human nature, no matter the field of endeavor, is ripe with that which needs celebrating and that which needs derision cast its way.

Last year, literally within minutes of publishing the Third Annual Life on the Wicked Stage Ink Blot Awards, I learned that good and dear friend and fellow Tableteer, Marc Orchant, had been stricken with a heart attack that would eventually prove fatal. Marc was a good friend to many in the blogosphere, and a good soul to all who encountered him. He made us all better in ways that I don’t think any of us truly recognized until after he passed. Marc was the blogosphere. Marc was the recipient of a few awards last year and in previous years. This year , in his honor, I begin another tradition by offering The Marc Orchant Award for Platform Agnosticism. The winner of that award has a duty to perform though. In addition to their excellent blogging about technology across platforms, they must watch the latest Batman movie at least once a year. Marc would appreciate that, and also have a good chuckle over it.

Another good friend, and now Tablet PC MVP, Mark “Sumocat” Sumimoto, christened these awards with the nickname of ‘The Blotties’ in year one, and that sorta stuck. I’m still unable to afford some big soiree where those honored can get blotto while celebrating, so, buy yourself your favorite beverage, (and when we meet up, buy me one too), cue the dancing girls, beat out a tattoo on the drums, sound the trumpets (or the theremin) and get ready for the Fourth Annual Life on the Wicked Stage Ink Blot Awards.

Enjoy!

No Life On The Wicked Stage Ink Blot Awards were retired this year. For a list of past winners that have been retired see the end of this year’s list.

Blogging

• Best Hot Swappable Mobile Tech Blogger: Kevin Tofel
• The Jim Henson Comedy is Not Pretty and Puppets Don’t Have To Be Either Award: Loren Feldman
• The Blogger I’d Like To Have a Beer With Award: Tie-Steve Gillmor, (or is that @stevegillmor) Cliff Gerrish, and Josh Bancroft
• Best Agent Provocateur on the Internet: Robert Scoble
• Best Theremin Playing Blogger on the Internet (and also a good dancer): Larry Dahlke
• Best Overall Tech Blog I Discovered This Year: ReadWriteWeb 
• The More Things Change, The More Things Stay the Same Award (This is a good thing) jkOnTheRun for becoming a part of the GigaOm Network
• The I Got a Better Job Now I Can’t Be Fake Steve Anymore Award: Dan Lyons
• Best New Blogger That I Follow: Cliff Gerrish and his blog Echovar
• Best Tech and News Aggregator: NewsGang.net
• Best Bloggers Who Faced Personal and/or Family Health Challenges This Year, Yet Bounced Back Strongly: Five Way Tie: Rob Bushway, Michael Connick, Doc Searls, Om Malik, and James Kendrick (There are far too many of these winners, so everybody take care of themselves and their loved ones, OK?)
• Most Contentious and Most Fun SOB on the Internet Who Can Combine Politics, Enterprise Issues, Social Networking Issues, and Culture Into One Big Delicious Feast Whether You’re Tasting It From a Blog, Twitter or Podcast: Steve Gillmor
• Best Blogger I’d Like to See Blog More Award: Judie Lipsett
• Best I’m Glad This Guy Is Blogging Award: Roger Ebert
• Best Blogging Software That Is So Damn Slow At Times That It Makes Me Want to Switch: Windows Live Writer
• The Marc Orchant Ink Blot Award for Platform Agnosticism: Three way tie: James Kendrick, Kevin Tofel, and Rob Bushway

Tablet PCs, UMPCs, Software, Netbooks, and Mobile Computing

• The Put A New Best Foot Forward, Then Put Foot in Mouth, Then Shoot Self In Foot Award: Intel on the Atom powered Netbooks and Intel’s VP of Sales and Marketing, Stu Pann for his recent comments about Netbooks.
• Best Disruptive Device of 2008: Netbooks
• Best We Can’t Believe People Really Like These Things, So Let’s Make One in Every Size and Configuration We Can: Asus and the Eee PC.
• Best New Ink Blogger: Bradtastic
• Best Tablet PC Software Revision: Mindjet’s MindManager
• Best New Tablet PC Software: No winner this year.
• Still the Best Kept Software Secret that Microsoft Doesn’t Want Anyone To Know About: OneNote 2007
• Best Software of the Year: Evernote
• Best Software Maker That Should Work Really, Really Hard in the Next Few Months Not to Forget Tablet PCs and Inkers. Otherwise Known as the Dance With the One Who Brung You Award: Evernote
• Best Liars in the Business: AT&T
• The DualCor cPC Vaporware Award (except in Baltimore and parts of Utah) WiMAX
• Still the Most Fun You Can Have In Vegas Hotel Room With A Bunch of Mobile Computing Guys-Wait That Didn't Come Out Right-Award: The GBM Team at CES 2008
• The How Many OS’s Can I Load on This Device Before It Will Explode: Kevin Tofel
• The We’d Love to See It, Love to Buy It, But Don’t Think You’re Ever Going to Produce It Award: TechCrunch Tablet
• Best Tablet PC Blogger Who Is Now, Finally, A Well Deserved MVP: Mark ‘Sumocat’ Sumimoto
• The Give Me a Netbook and I’ll Mod It Award: jkkmobile
• Best Ultra Mobile Device Blogger: Steve “Chippy” Paine
• Best and Hands Down Unbeatable Ultra Mobile Device Data Base: UMPC Portal
• Best and Most Futile Attempt at Destroying a MobileDemand Rugged Tablet PC: Matt Faulkner
• The Ernie Banks Wait Until Next Year Award: Intel for MIDs
• Best Blue Monster That Moved from Scotland to Texas: Hugh MacLeod
• The Multi-touch Tablet PC That Costs Every Digit and Appendage That You Could Possibly Multi-Touch With Award: Dell XT Tablet PC
• Best MID: iPhone 3G
• Best and Most Successful Launch of Beta Hardware: iPhone 3G
• Most Outlandish Use of Multi-Touch in A Crime Procedural TV Show When We all Know Police Departments Can’t Afford That Stuff: CSI Miami
• Best Tablet PC Released in 2008: Tie-Lenovo ThinkPad X200 and the HP Elitebook 2730p Tablet PC
• Best UMPC Released in 2008: No Award and probably shouldn’t be a category
• The Let's Keep Everything a Secret About Our New OS Except Multi-Touch and Then When We Finally Release a Beta, Let's Not Have any Devices Available for Users to Test and Then Let's Release a Beta Without the Multi-touch Bits Included Award: Microsoft for Windows 7
• Best Thing to Happen to Online Music: Amazon MP3 Store
• The Stupid Move of the Year in Manufacturing (or the Wii Award): Amazon and the Kindle
• The Call ‘em Like I See ‘em Award: Rob Bushway
• Best iPhone Flashlight App: Too many to choose from
• Best New Mobile Service that Shows Promise (but needs to make some moves fast, like now): Windows Live Mesh
• Best Windows Blogger: Long Zheng of istartedsomething
• Best Microsoft Dirt Digger: Mary Jo Foley
• Best Wife Who Occasionally Does InkShow Videos and Shows Up The Big Boys: Thomasin Savaiano
• Best Wife: Mine. Thomasin Savaiano
• Best New Mobile Tech Blog: Liliputing
• Best Geek Meetup Bloggers: UMPCFever
• 2008 Best Mobile Tech Blogging Because They Get Their Hands On Damned Near Everything: Xavier, Joanna and the respective gangs at Notebooks.com and Laptop Mag
• Best CES Tablet PC, UMPC, Mobile Tech Meeting Organizer Ever: Lora Heiny
• The 2008 Best Tablet PC Blogger: Loren Heiny
• Most Creative Folks I've Met This Year In Tech, So Why Doesn't Microsoft Just Give Them The Keys to the Kingdom and get something done: Ken Hinckley and the Team Behind Microsoft Surface
• The Monty Python I’m Not Dead Yet Award: Steve Jobs
• Best Get Down and Dirty with Mobile Devices Blogger: Jenn at Pocketables
• Best Let’s Ship Small Things in Big Boxes While Pretending We’re Big on Green: Apple
• Best One Day They Will Appear Before Congress With Right Hands in the Air Over Deceptive Practices That Hold The US Back in Innovation and Productivity: Broadband Providers
• Best Arrogance: Steve Jobs
• Best Hinting That Tablet PCs Will Always Be A Niche Even Though We Can't Say So or The We Need Better PR Coaching Award: Tie-Ray Ozzie and Steve Sinofsky
• Best Let’s Blow $300 Million Marketing Our OS That We Are Working As Hard As We Can To Replace: Microsoft
• Best Tech Ad in a Shoe Store: Microsoft, Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates
• Best Tech Ads that are Wearing Really, Really Thin, and Seem to be Getting Banned in Europe for Stretching the Truth: I’m a Mac, I’m a PC
• Best Right Hand Doesn’t Know What the Left Hand is Doing Award: Apple’s App Store for releasing, then pulling back, the releasing, then pulling back NetShare: The Apple App Store
• Best Comment on the Dangerous Farce that Is the RIAA: Hugh MacLeod
• Best Stall Surfing Device: iPhone 3G or iPod Touch
• Best Blogging on Copyright and Intellectual Property: TechDirt
• Best High Tech Bread Slicer: MacBook Air
• The Well It Took You Long Enough But I'm Glad You Finally Got the Damn Product Out the Door: GorillaPod Go-Go by Joby
• The Most Comprehensive Review of a Gadget on Record: Matt Miller on the T-Mobile G1
• Best Hurricane Tech Blogging: James Kendrick
• The I’ve Got My Head in the Clouds Award: Kevin Tofel
• Best Worst Kept Secret in the Tabletscape: N-Trig Digitizers Have Problems
• The "Work in Progress" Award: Microsoft Vista as proclaimed by Steve Ballmer
• The So The FCC Slapped Our Wrist on Throttling BitTorrent, We’ll Just Cap Everybody Instead: Comcast
• The We Hate That We're Getting Such Good Market Share Because Now We Have To Slow Our Machines Down With Anti-Virus Software Award: Apple
• The Sign of Things To Come Award: PC Magazine Abandons Print Edition and Goes Web Only

Social Networking

• Best Social Aggregator: FriendFeed
• Best Time Waster: FriendFeed
• The Schlitz Award to the Social Service That Made The Fail Whale Famous: Twitter
• The We Hardly Knew Ye Award: Pownce
• The We've Got It, You Want It, But We Won't Give It To You No Matter How Much You Want It: Twitter and Track
• Best Twittering from Outer Space (that we know of): The Phoenix Lander
• Best New Software That I Use All The Time Even Though I Don't Have To: Twhirl
• Best About To Become an Also Ran: Identi.ca

Podcasts

• Best Rat Holes in a Podcast: MacBreak Weekly
• Best New Podcast That I Wish I Could Spend More Time On: NewsGang LIve
• Best Mobile Tech Podcast: gdgt
• Wackiest Tech Podcast: TWiT

Politics and Culture

• The You Knew It Was Bad, We Knew It Was Bad, and Now That We’re Moving On We’ll Admit It was all an Attempt to put LIpstick on a Pig: Thee Way Tie-Microsoft for Vista, George Bush for the Iraq War, The Republican Party and the Media for Pretending Sarah Palin was the Real Deal.
• Best Use of the Internet for Political Campaigning: The Obama Campaign
• Best Way to Capture Tons of User Info for Future Fundraising While Political Campaigning: The Obama Campaign
• The NY Times Columnist For Making Outrageous Errors and thus Giving Hope to Under Achievers Everywhere Award: Bill Kristol
• Best Political Blogger: Karoli
• Best Utterer of “Oh, My God” on a Podcast: Francine Hardaway
• Best Blogger Who Is Always Ready on Day One: Cliff Gerrish
• Funniest Political Blogger I Read: Michael Markman
• The Milli Vanilli Award for Faking It: China and the Little Girl Who Sang Ode To the Motherland
• Best I've Become a Parody of Myself and My Chief Target Bill O'Reilly and I wish McCain Had Won Because Now My Ratings Will Suffer: Keith Olbermann
• Best Billy Carter Wanna-Be in the Last Election: John McCain’s Brother
• Best Don’t Hire a Failed Tech CEO as a Political Mouth Piece: John McCain and Carly Fiorina
• Best I’m Not an American post: Robert Scoble
• Best We Get the Leaders We Deserve Award: Michele Bachmann
• The Just Plain Wrong Award: Hello Kitty Rifle
• The Don't Count Chickens Before They Hatch or Write Books Saying You are 19-0 Award: The New England Patriots
• Best Military Misfire of the Year: Errant Shell Lands In 10 year-old’s Bed and Kills Cat in New Jersey
• Best Example of Why Geography Needs To Be Mandatory in School: Sarah Palin
• Best Example of Why Multi-Touch Needs Applications Other Than things You Can Move Around: MSNBC and CNN
• The Holographic Election Gimmickry or Now That We’ve Got Holograms Will We Have Larry King on Forever Award: CNN
• The Please Don't Do This Because I Don't Want to See That Fat Lady Sing Award: Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth to be Performed as an Opera
• Best Example of How American Culture is on the Decline since Brittany Spears Award: Anheuser-Busch Sold To Belgium Company
• Best Bring Air Guitar Players Out of the Closet Award: Tie-Guitar Hero and Rock Band

Predictions and Look Backs

• Best Game Changers for 2008: Tie-Apple and Asus
• Best Predicted Game Changers for 2009: Tie-Apple, Google, Microsoft, Barack Obama

Retired in 2007

• Best Tablet PC Software Site: Tablet PC Post
• Most Consistent and Most Creative Ink Blogger: Mark Sumocat Sumimoto
• Best All Father of Tablet PCs: James Kendrick (What's an All Father anyway?) 
• Best Annual Wish List For Santa That Makes All Geeks Think About Committing Crimes To Purchase All The Cool Gadgets: Linda Epstein of TabletPC2.com

Retired in 2006

• Most Obnoxious Tableteer Laugh: Tie-Robert Scoble and myself. (The only reason it is a tie is Scoble's laugh is heard more than mine.) 
• Best and Most Frequent Use Of The Word "Cool" in a Tablet PC Blog Post or Podcast: James Kendrick
• Best First Family Of Tablet PCs: The Heiny's 
• Best Tablet PC Batman Fan: Marc Orchant